The growth inside of me!

I feel like theres a flower inside of me growing and reproducing jus waiting to show its beauty.

I feel very special god gave me this gift-to have my very own piece of life. Even tho my life didnt turn out to be the way i always wished and my past is basically CRAP i thank him cuz the one thing i would always treasure is the memory I have of my first son birth,it was the most amazing thing that a gurl can go thru (well on some occasions)...

And for granting me the wish to have another spring of my own i feel so fortunate because I know there are people out there that wish they were as fortunate as me and had a child. Im so impatiently waiting on my son to me born and if god grant me the wish to have more I will!

I decided to write this because Im so close to giving birth and I jus stop and think about it like damn Im actually going to have another baby another living thing I have to protect under my wing, another piece of life that I can say hes mine and only mine! I congratulate myself for being such a good mother to my 2 year old even tho he do get me mad i love him to death!

The Hatred Mother!

- _____, u better eat all ur food and if you dont ima make ur stinking butt eat even if its thru ur ears, I swear u not getting out your chair if u not done even if it take all nite...

- But mami....no puedo (i cant) (sob)

-BTW you not eating shyt for dessert! (it would usually be cake)

Another day

-_____,we gonna go buy uu a fone today.

-OMG are u serious ma?!?

-yea but u cant call no one and when u home I better not see u using it, oh and if i see a boy number in dat fone oh poor u.

-ma so whats the point of me having a fone

-do u want a fone or not?

-yeea

-so stop asking, u using the fone so when its raining and stuff u call me when u in skool

-ma but u dont even have a car to come pick me up!

-so im guessing u dont want a fone since u keep talking shyt

-ok no ima be quiet

LATER DAT DAY IN THE FONE STORE

-ma i want dat one

-how much it cost?

-$180

-hell fucking no u getting this one dats 50

-(ugh i really dont want a fone now)(insider)...ok ma

ANOTHER DAY

-ma can igo to my friend house when im done doing my chores

- no

-why ma

-did u do the bathroom?

-yea

-did u do the living room, ur room, ur closet, wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, broom and sweep the back part of the house, did your laundry, and pre wash ur whites by hand?

-almost, dats y i ask uz ima be done early.

-no

-but why?

-cuz i said so and dats final!!!!!!!!!!!! If u dont wana get grounded

-ugh ok

ANOTHER DAY

-ma can i get a pc in my room?

-hell no!

ANOTHER DAY

-_____, WHERE IS UR BROTHERS FONE CLIP?

-idk i never took it

-SO Y ITS NOT THERE? IT DONT HAVE LEGS

-ma IDK

-(father)whats tha problem?

-(mother)______ took the fone clip and now she lost it

-(_____)no i didnt dad i told her and she dont believe me!

-(fathter)y u always blaming shyt to ______, like she da only one tha live in the house hu im gettin tire of u doing that shyt, y dont u blame ur precious boys huh? what thtey never do anything? huh?

-(mother)u know wha fuck u and fuck _____, get tha fuck out my face NOW!

-(father)no bitch fuck u! (he leave)

-(mother)I HATE U _______ FOR MAKING US FITE!

_______ catches a tantrum and is obligated to go to a mental home!

Today

______now lives with alot of mental issues that she try to over come every day. But other than dat lives very happy!

A rude awakening!

Ok so I was going thru my blog and the people I thought I follow and I came to find out my page is nothing compared to alot of people I felt so bad... I guess this tels me that I have yet a lot to learn and find out. So ask people that read this post to let me know a little something of what you know so I can catch up with my blog!

Depession, mood swings, and bipolar!

Thats not a very good combo right... Well I have all 3 and I cant take nothing because I dont have insurance to see a therapist and get medicated. I try my best to stay calm everyday but it be times I just get out of control like today I got disappointed wit a person because of her lack of friendship and from disappointment it turned to anger. Now its like im so angry im scared i might open my mouth and hurt someones feelings like literally especially my man he always get the bad end of the stick. Like I just want to cry and forget bout everyone around me or just cuss them out and not care how they feel or just curl in a corner and stay there for ever...Anger have gotten so severe that I think bout the wrong things like im a serial killer literally I fear for the people arond me sometimes. I live with my fiancé and his family and my son I mean I look at my son n he like motivates me but I sometimes thinks its not enough... Dont know what to do anymore world im just tired of feeling abnormal when ever something happen or when ever I wake up on the wrong side of the bed...Im exposing myself and the world kno me for what I suffer EVERYDAY this include my man (when u read this) he didnt know all this...

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!!

To all the daddys out there happy fathers day... But a special hug and kiss to my daddy thats been there for me thru the good and the bad that have spoiled me like crazy and have fought for me like crazy THANK YOU DADDY! Well a special hug and kiss to my man new daddy and to my daddy in law and last but not least to my brother's that i love so much!

Celtics vs Lakers

GO CELTICS!!!!!!!!!!

the score so far is 40-34...YES we winning and we going to win....

Who's with me?

Marlins

And the score is 3-2 against Texas.... I went to the baseball game today, it was Florida marlins (my team) against Texas rangers (ugh)...We was winning but I dont know what happened we just fell out I guess the pitcher got too happy too soon and let the guy get a run ugh... Im sooo disappointed because its like every time I go to the game they lose like I give them bad luck or something. On the contrary I had fun I was with my family out there hooting for our home team and making fun of people that made fools out of themselves hehe... Yeah it was kind of hot no let me refrase that it was extremely hot we was all sweating and musk filed the air (ewwww), but we still had fun... and hooray for the refreshments my daddy in law got for us hahaha.... Even tho we lost hoot hoot hooray for the MARLINS! GO FISH! ♥

Lookville

So I got this invite on this new site called lookville I think its awesome... I can express my opinion on any type of fashion. Me who love clothing of all type especially mix and match (i like to stand out) hand bags and especially shoes... I an go on talking about fashion for ever hehe... I just love how there so many people around out there that are just like me and bsically go crazy about fasion like I do. I mean i get my man mad because I have to cardinate when ever i go out and i have to make sure i stand out, he sometimes tell me he have to let me kno we going out like an hour in advance, I agree. Well anyway I currently own like 10 hand bags and growing, and a few lot of pair of shoes I hardly even wear hehe. so any one thats with me comment and let me know your style!

Im Getting Married

I knew i was getting married but this is te actual thing thats going on we been engaged for like for ever and we finally going to get everything ready to get married. I never thought I cristal was going to get married but I guess theres a someone out there for every1. The wedding is on december 20 of next year, its a cinderella fairytale theme... I ve hardly seen that and me personally am a girly girl so this fits me. Besides cinderella live happily ever after with her prince so its perfect because it represents me hehehe...Im so excited in this next year everything is going to go by so fast (thank god).... Finally going to have my fairytale life how i always wanted thanks to my jose and his beautiful heart thats full of love and hope and everything in between...

BABE ITS ME AND U,ME AND U ONLY TE AMO PAPI!

welcoming my baby junior

okay so I finally catched my breath and to tell you the truth im so very excited and tired... But excited at the same time. We painted the room baby blue and the theme is sports with toy story.

My sons are going to love it to death even tho my older one pefer spongebob. Any way so we have everything including the crib and car seat and stroller, the doctor say ill be giving birth in july 13 but I doubt that, I think I'll be having him like a week early because im working a lot. Im preparing myself to push lol and bring him out as soon as possible. Im so happy and excited but yeah well ill write something more idk sophisticated lol when I recuperate...